I am an introvert. Always have been and always will be. Pulling away from people to recharge my energy by myself is what I need. Silence and solitude are everything to me.

Since becoming a father, silence and solitude are two things I don’t get a lot of anymore. It’s an unfortunate truth of being responsible for a little human that depends on you for everything.

Even though I appreciated silence and solitude before, now I view it as the most valuable and intentional time I can spend. Even in the midst of a worldwide pandemic where we are missing people and the freedom to go out, I want…I NEED more silence and solitude.

I can’t lie…It’s one of the main reasons I wake up between 4:30-5:00 AM everyday.

Is your mind always racing to the next thing? Do you find yourself unable to catch up in your mornings? Are you drained physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?

If you answered yes to those, you NEED silence and solitude. Here are some of my top reasons for building intentional time for silence and solitude:

1. Silence the Noise

The world around us is filled with so much noise. It comes at us from all different directions. You turn on the news and you get noise. You open up social media and you get noise. You listen to a podcast, open a website on your browser, check your email or open your text messages and all that you get is noise.

Step away, put the phone down, and listen to hear yourself breathing and to hear your heart beating. You are alive. You are not a zombie. You are a living, breathing, and valuable person. We can forget how alive we actually are. Cut out the noise and step into the silence.

2. Slow Down the World

If you’re anything like me, you’re constantly moving towards a new goal. Heck, even if you’re not like me, it’s hard to keep pace with everyone else or at least that’s our perception. Personally, I speed the world up so much I can miss important moments. I am so consumed by the next task that I miss what my wife asked me to do or the funny new thing that our 8 month old daughter just did.

Stepping away from everyone and everything allows you to slow time down. It slows your pace. It gives you rest and room to breathe. You need this time and you deserve this time. Step away and slow down the pace of the world around you.

3. Mine Your Heart

Many times when I have been overworked or I haven’t had the opportunity to pull away from people I can feel a weight inside of me. That weight pushes me to be cynical and I normally don’t figure out the root of the issue until it’s too late.

Routinely and intentionally pursuing silence and solitude creates space for clarity. It allows you do dig through all of the gunk and muck that the world has used in an attempt to bury your heart so deep that you lose your purpose. Don’t let life do that to you. Dig your heart out. Mine away at it so that you can return your heart to its purest form.

4. Return to Reality

We can get sucked so far into the race of life that it changes our perception of reality. It changes who we are and what we know to be true.

We view the path to success as the need to be selfish instead of being selfless.

We see respect as something that must be earned instead of a something that should be given from the start.

Forgiveness is only possible when we get even because not forgiving hurts the other person more than it hurts you.

All of these are wrong, but if you listen to this noise world for long enough your perception of what is true will be gone. The goodness of mankind does not shine through. Instead, the depravity of mankind shines through. It gives the brokenness of the world and sense of normalcy with no hope for change.

Pull away. By yourself. Keep quiet. Listen.

Don’t allow yourself to be eaten alive by the world around you. Don’t let the world determine how you feel or what you think. Set your pace and space. Make intentional time for silence and solitude. It can save you from feeling like you’re dying inside.

Escape the world to return to reality.

Yesterday I had the strangest sensation. I felt as if I was mourning the loss of myself. Part of me was dying and withering away and I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was.

Anxiety and depression were knocking at the door, but as someone who has battled those things for my entire life, I was trying my best to identify the issue. The problem was, it wasn’t easily identifiable.

I felt as if I was losing part of myself that had been there forever. After some contemplation and wise counsel from my wife, I came to the conclusion that whatever was happening inside of me was a good thing. This kind of feeling has happened to me in the past when new opportunities for growth were on the horizon, so I knew my wife was on to something.

Sometimes we forget how powerful perspective can be. Sometimes we mourn the loss of things that our bad for us that we have found our identity in. Whether that is a toxic relationship, a life threatening addiction or in my case, the slow internal death brought by comfort.

Yes, comfort is what is dying inside of me and it needs to. To more accurately explain it, I would say that my desire to be comfortable in all circumstances is dying. It is being stripped away. I am letting it rot off of me. I am having those dead branches that provide no fruit in my life to be cut off so that real fruit and good fruit can come alive. But…

THIS. IS. PAINFUL.

Why is it painful? Because it’s not like this constant desire comfort is and external part of me. For my entire life it has been me. It feels apart like my arm or my leg does. Imagine a skin tag, birth mark, mole, or blemish that you want to remove from yourself. It’s been there for as long as you can remember and you would like for it to be remove but it feel like more of a hassle to get the cosmetic surgery than it is to just deal with it. Now picture falling into a lions cage and instead of the lion devouring you, the lion is completely focused on removing that blemish and only that blemish from your skin using his claws and he will hold you down and claw away at it until it comes off.

Graphic? Yes. Accurate? Also yes.

C.S. Lewis uses this illustration in the Chronicles of Narnia where a character has dragon scales on their skin that they cannot get off themselves and the only way to remove them is to have Aslan the King of Narnia (also a lion) painfully claw away at them until they are all off.

This process isn’t just removing the pursuit of comfort from my life. This process to remove it is extremely UNcomfortable and painful.

So how will the wound heal once the comfort is clawed away?

What branches will grow in it’s place now that the dead branches have been cut?

Discipline.

Definition: the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.

I am training myself to obey a new set of rules and code of behavior. The punishment for that disobedience? That which I now despise. Comfort. That will lead to frustration, anger, disappointment, so many other feelings that will not keep me comfortable for long. The short-term fight to stay comfortable will just lead to more discomfort. See why comfort needs to be removed from my life? Because comfort is a lie has held me back for years. It has stopped me from doing so much in my life. No more. Discipline now rules.

Jocko Willink repeats in his book Extreme Ownership that “discipline equals freedom.” Well guess what? I desperately need that freedom over the lie of comfort that I’ve always chosen before.

It’s the choice between temporary comfort and ultimate despair or temporary discomfort and ultimate freedom.

I choose freedom, therefore, I choose discipline.

Join me and let comfort die. How?

Consistently put yourself in uncomfortable yet beneficial situations.

– Take a cold shower

– Wake up at 4 AM

– Drink water and nothing else

– Choose the healthy meal that doesn’t taste as good

– Workout when you’re tired

– Choose to read over watching a show or movie

There are so many things that you can do to remove comfort. I know I will fail, but the goal isn’t perfection. The goal is progress. Don’t count how many times you fall, but count how many times you get back up to try again.

What does discipline look like for me? I’m not 100% sure yet. I know it means probably waking up at 4 or 4:30 AM. But outside of that, I don’t know. I’ll probably spend the entirety of this week trying to figure that out.

I hope that this encourages you and finds you well. Let’s take the steps to progress together.

Link Below:

Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Nacy Seals Lead and Win by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin

I like to consider myself a hard worker. Even when I have an off day, I fight to make myself feel productive. Yes, days off and Sabbaths are important, but even the simplest of chores brings joy to my heart.

While some people might see work as burden, I find it to be a joy. But not always. Sometimes laziness or tiredness hits and I want to do anything but work.

The Christian/Biblical worldview of work always linked to Genesis 3:17-19. Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, sin against God and as God lays out the punishments for Adam, he says this:

“Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat of the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; dust you are and to dust you will return.”

…Well, that’s brutal.

Might as well have just said that work was going to suck and that it will wear you down to eventually be the death of you. Yikes.

Now this is what the Bible says, yet so many people view work in this way and they don’t have a Christian or Biblical worldview. There is no, “this is what God says” lens that they see the world through.

I understand it. A lot of people work jobs that they hate for either not enough money , just enough money or too much money.

But I genuinely believe that work was not meant to be so deadly. The curse that is brought up in those verses is the pain and wear it brings upon us physically, psychologically, and spiritually, in that order.

Our bodies breakdown so our minds breakdowns which leads to a slow death of the soul.

So how do we get out of this reckless cycle of internal and external destruction of our lives as we do what is necessary to provide for ourselves and our families?

We switch it up. Why?

We. Have. It. Backwards.

The work itself is not a curse. Work is a gift. You know what’s a curse? Idle hands. Ask anyone longing for a job, apply for every opportunity and struggling to survive.

The toll work takes is a curse. Not the work itself.

Even the Christian/Biblical worldview even confirms this in Genesis 2:15!

“The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.”

Before sin, before the fall, before rebellion, work was a gift of dominion and ownership. That’s why people like Jocko Willink can write a book titled Extreme Ownership and people become inspired by it. It ignites something within our souls. A deep longing for the true meaning of work. And that’s the key…

Work is always seen from the perspective of physical or mental/psychological.

Have you ever thought that work needs to be viewed from a spiritual perspective first?

Maybe work is more than just what we do with our hands or the problems we solve in ours minds…

What if work, even with the wear and tear, is the doorway to inspiration, creativity, purpose, and so much more that’s been lacking in our lives?

If we change our perspectives of work, our purpose and approach changes. Our heart changes. Not just work, but working hard, brings a satisfaction that only gives us a glimpse into the original purpose of work.

This why people, myself included, chase after every new productivity system or waiting for the latest app. The more we produce, the more satisfaction we get.

But to me, the real satisfaction doesn’t come with how much content I churn out. The real satisfaction comes when I lay my head on the pillow at night completely worn out and ready to enjoy the rest I have earned.

I call this Glorious Exhaustion.

Have your every experienced it? Everything aches, your mind is tired, and your eyes almost refuse to stay open. It makes sleep and rest the most valuable commodity.

I want to encourage you to give it a shot. Work your tail off.

When you workout your body, work as if your life depended on it.

Spend time with your spouse, your children and your family as if you may never spend time with them again.

When in conversation with people, actively listen to them as if the words they are sharing are gold.

Read books and listen to podcasts with an attention that anticipates the secrets to the success and life you want.

Clean and organize your space as if the most important appointment of your life is happening at your house or office.

Work yourself to glorious exhaustion. I promise you will find a greater satisfaction in your life and work when you lay your head on your pillow at night.

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working no planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.” – Ecclesiastes 9:10 NIV

If you’re anything like me you probably have tons of ideas and plans that you have a hard time following through on.

Sleep definitely falls into that that category for me.

Getting adequate sleep.

Waking up on time.

Going to bed on time.

All of these things are hurdles to the bigger goals that I dream about.

I am the most productive when I get up early. I love getting an early start to my day and knocking out most of my task list before 9 AM. I feel most accomplished and successful when I do this. My confidence goes through the roof.

Unfortunately I allow everything to get in the way of me going to bed early and hitting the snooze button an ungodly amount of times in the morning.

Distraction. Busyness. Procrastination. Boredom.

You name it, it has probably stopped me from going to bed early.

Today that is going to change.

Today the bad habits will be broken and the new habits will take form.

Now, I want to be clear. I am not looking to Jocko Willink (as much as I would love to adopt his habits with a snap of my fingers). I am trying to do what is best for me (and for my wife since she will be joining me).

I want to make sure I encourage you to do what is best for you. Sleep is vital to optimal performance. Minimum of 7 hours of sleep a night has to be nonnegotiable.

You want to see your productivity go through the roof? Get up early and go to bed early. Get your rest while other people are procrastinating and wake up while others are fighting to go back to sleep.

This is my goal: Go to sleep by 9:30 PM at the latest so that I can wake up no later than 5 AM.

This the plan:

1. Eliminate Distraction

It’s time to eliminate the infinite scroll. Instagram and Facebook set it up so that you never feel like you have reached the bottom of your social media feed. On your feeble attempt to reach the bottom, you get bombarded with every advertisement tailored to your specific needs and desires because of the social media wire tap algorithms.

How do you eliminate the scroll. Phone is down or off at 9 PM and the only thing you’re allowed to read is a book. Distraction eliminated.

2. Beat Down Busyness

I always find something good and productive to do at the time that I should be getting ready for bed. It could be cleaning the kitchen, washing the baby’s bottles, go through email, etc.

It’s time to get those things done at the earlier part of the day and in some cases, leave them for the next day.

It won’t kill you to leave things for the next day. You’re perfectionism will kill you.

Get them done in smaller doses throughout the day and leave the unnecessary for the next morning. Your body and your mind will thank you.

3. Fight Procrastination

Procrastination can look different for people. In a sense it is another form of busyness. But in reality it is just a nicer way to describe laziness.

For my wife and I, Netflix and Disney+, are how we procrastinate. I mean we even have it on in the background while we are stuck in our infinite scroll or finalizing work.

It’s time to fight it. For us, the TV and any electronic that is not a cell phone will be off by 8:30 PM. That is about 45-60 minutes after our almost 8 month old daughter goes to sleep. That is more than enough time to enjoy a show and finalize things before the next day.

Procrastination won’t kill you quickly, but it will wear you down until you feel like you’re drowning in a sea of unfinished tasks and unhealthy habits.

4. Embrace Boredom

Yes, I said it. Boredom at night is a good thing.

As someone who loves being productive and is always looking for more ways to be productive, this bothers me. I hate the idea of being bored. Every minute of every day I need to do something.

But you know what I can’t do if I am always trying to do something? Sleep. I can’t sleep. My mind races on what needs to be done and captain hindsight reminds me of what I should have done.

Embracing boredom means accepting that the day is done, it is time to wind down and that the rest of the list can wait until tomorrow. Turn off your mind, slow down, and practice gratitude of the gift of life you were given that day.

I hope you join my wife and I as we work towards our new goal of going to bed early, waking up early and producing even better content.

As a naturally competitive person, I always compare myself to the people I see. Whether they’re a peer, a subordinate or someone I look up to, I always look to see how I stack up against them.

Now, I am pretty realistic. I am no Carey Neiuwhof. I am not Craig Groeschel, Andy Stanley, or John Maxwell. But when it comes to people in similar seats in an organization or that are around my same age, I am ruthless.

I am by far the hardest on myself. That can be a good thing and a bad thing. I am very driven because of it, but I am also deeply insecure because of it. Imagine constantly telling yourself that no one wants to listen and no one cares. Welcome to my brain every minute of every day.

Today, I battled comparing myself with my coworkers. That includes my peers and an my reports. We started doing these Facebook Live morning devotionals and of course my morning devotional video received over 900 views. Pretty cool. I should be proud of it, but I’m not. I’m battling deep insecurity.

Why?

Because everyone on the days before me and after me received 1.2K or 2K views.

So here come the voices.

Not good enough.

No one wants to hear from you.

So let’s work through how to fight comparison as I fight it in real time.

1. Be self-aware

The first step is always recognizing that there is a problem. We know that this isn’t how we are supposed to view ourselves. Comparison is an outsider. It is an enemy that works to stop you from being who you really are and becoming who you are supposed to be. Call it out. Call it what it is. Comparison is an intruder.

2. Go to someone you trust

I can’t lie. I’m pretty lucky. My wife is amazing and she will shoot straight with me. She hears me out. She validates the difficulty of comparison but she doesn’t validate the comparison itself. She doesn’t dismiss my feelings, but instead she tries to understand them.

Find a person you can go to when comparison sneaks in. Let them speak truth into you. Do everything you can to avoid fighting them because remember: they are not the enemy. Comparison is the enemy.

3. Fight comparison with gratitude

This is the hardest one. Do you know how many people have videos on Facebook that have been viewed by over 900 people? Not many. It’s pretty cool when I think about it. 900 people cared enough to hear what I had to say. The leadership in our organization trusted me enough to give me the platform for people to listen to what I had to say.

But you know what? Next time, when given the opportunity, what I share will be riveting. This is where my competitive nature comes into play. I compete with myself.

This is far from easy. What it takes is dismissing the accomplishments of other people. Instead, it is a focus on what you have been given. Focus on the little you have accomplished because no matter what, they are still accomplishments.

I hope you found this helpful. We all need this reminder sometimes. Keep working. Keeping fighting to move forward. God has a plan and your destiny is waiting for you!

I consider myself to be a pretty driven person. I am always looking to improve and I’m always looking for the next best thing. While this trait can be helpful, it is also self-destructive.

Let me explain:

I chase after the next best thing because it is a rabbit to chase. It is something else to thrive for. In other words, I’m trying to feel worthy.

Worthiness is tricky. We want to be responsible and held accountable for the things that we do. How we do those things determine our level of worthiness. But if you’re anything like me, your desire to move on to the next best thing means that I never feel worthy enough.

As I climb up the ladder, my ascent looks like it will never end. There is no rest at the next step. Each level of growth only has me looking higher up wondering why I can’t move up faster. It makes me wonder if I’m doing enough to get noticed at work, in social circles, or in social media.

So if looking for the next best thing isn’t the best thing, then what should we do?

Well, I am going to challenge you to be faithful instead.

On Carey Neiuwhof’s Leadership Podcast episode 277, Sam Collier, a speaker who has successfully built his own platform in church world, said that when given the opportunity or responsibility to do something new, his only job was to “crush what was in my hand.”

Crush what is in your hand.

It’s a fascinating concept, but it is a counter-culture perspective. But more than anything, it is common sense. Do good with what is in front of you. Crush what has been in trusted to you. Steward it well. Just be faithful.

Four Principles of Faithfulness

1. STAY IN THE PRESENT

This one is very difficult for me since futuristic is my top strengthfinder. It’s not that thinking futuristically is bad or wrong, it’s that it becomes a distraction. We know how bad distractions can be yet we allow futuristic thinking distract us from what we have already been entrusted with.

So many people are looking for ways to posture themselves for promotions or raises and then they become frustrated when those things don’t happen. Of course it didn’t work out. Their eyes are on the wrong thing.

2. OBSESS OVER YOUR CURRENT RESPONSIBILITIES

When it comes to what you’ve already been given, your job is to crush it. That means doing the very best you can with it no matter what is tossed your way.

Top flight MMA fighters in training camp for 10-12 weeks before their fights. They have a game plan, but they don’t just talk about it. They drill it over and over and over again. If they see an opening that they believe can be exploited by a specific punch combination, they will drill that combination hundreds or thousands of times before the fight. Why? So that it comes naturally.

Connor McGregor’s KO of Jose Aldo

Michael Bisping’s TKO of Luke Rockhold

Jon Jones’ TKO of Daniel Cormier

Jorge Masvidal’s KO of Ben Askren

All of these knockouts were drilled over and over again weeks before they ever stepped into the Octogon.

This principle is true in any part of productivity, personal development, and professional development.

Work in retail? Fold that shirt perfectly. Don’t just fold it to clean the table. Fold it to perfection.

Still in school and preparing for a test or presentation? Study and work on it. Ingrain it in your memory.

Are you a public speaker? Prep early and practice often. Don’t use notes. Don’t memorize your talk. Know your talk. Let it become part of you.

Practice it over and over again. Practice till you get sick of it. It shouldn’t just be something you know how to do. Drill it over and over and over again. Make yourself sick of it because when the time comes to actually do it, you’ll crush it.

3. SEEK FEEDBACK

This is one of the things we are most afraid of. Why do we want to allow people to deconstruct the way we work and what we have dedicated our time to?

Because we want to get better.

If you truly care about your work and want to improve your abilities, then you will seek feedback. This means having thick sin and not taking things personally. Improvement always comes with pain and discomfort. Feedback is the refining fire of personal development. Don’t just wait for people to give you feedback. Seek it. Seek it often. Seek it from people that will be honest. Seek it from people that are already good at what you’re looking to improve on. Let people know that you want feedback before you hand the project in or before you give your presentation. Nothing will help you grow faster than feedback.

4. DON’T SEEK APPROVAL OR PRAISE

While seeking feedback is one of the most difficult things to do, I believe this is the most difficult thing to do.

When you are proud of something, it is nearly impossible to not posture ourselves for praise. We want want people to see how good we are doing so that we can receive affirmation. But nothing makes people more reluctant to give affirmation than someone who is purposefully looking for affirmation.

To seek approval and praise is to dismantle the first four principles of faithfulness.

This takes a tremendous amount of humility. Lower yourself and let other people lift you up.

It’s time that we all stop fighting for worthiness. It is time that we take responsibility for what we already have.

What if everyone in the world decided to do the best they could with what was in front of them?

Our world would improve beyond comprehension.

You will never feel worthy enough. Instead, be faithful.

So do what you can and crush what is in your hand.

I can’t exactly say that I’m excited about this. To be honest, I’m a little terrified. Pouring my heart out all over the internet? That definitely does not sound like me. But let’s dive right in.

Let’s keep it simple:

My name is Jadner Lugo.

I am 27 years old, married to my beautiful bride, and expecting our first child in the next few weeks (or days).

I’m a Student Ministry Director at a multisite church called the Journey in Orange City, Florida.

theJourney.cc

I love to read.

I love to write.

I love to learn.

It’s that last one that has pushed me to start this blog. I just love to learn. I am a sponge. It is why I listen to so many podcasts, watch so many documentaries and YouTube videos (I know those aren’t the same thing), and read so many books.

So what do I love to learn about?

Leadership, productivity, personal development, technology, student ministry, church ministry, and sports.

I learn so much about these topics that I can regurgitate information, facts, statistics, history, etc.

But that is the problem.

I don’t want to consume information for my own gluttony. My desire to learn everything can appear humble, but it is rooted in selfishness. I shouldn’t desire to learn more just so I know more.

So with this blog, my goal has changed.

I learn more, to know more, to share more with those who would be willing to listen.

I am not the producer of this information. I’m the curator.

Every idea or thought will come from a book, podcast, documentary, YouTube video, sermon, conversation, etc.

I will always point you to the source of the information because like I said before, the source is not me. I’m ok with that.

I refuse to hold onto all of this information for myself.

I refuse to keep these fascinating thoughts and ideas to myself.

Let’s flesh them out together.

I am learning just like everyone else. The only difference is…

I won’t stop learning.