Over the last few months I have felt a sense of complacency in my personal ministry. I lead a student ministry that averages over 200 students a week across 4 physical locations. Now that we moved everything online because of COVID-19, I am beginning to wonder if I am making good use of my time.
I will say this: I am not leaving student ministry anytime soon.
My concern is that I am not operating in my full potential as a pastor. The same zeal that I had when I first started in ministry is dwindling away and I do not like it. In fact, it has raised a flag that something I am doing might be off. Luckily, I think I found it.
“Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you be prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress.”
– 1 Timothy 4:13-15
This morning, during my quiet time, wrestling with this question, I come across this passage. The question I was asking myself was a legitimate one.
“Why does it feel like I am not operating in my full potential in ministry? Why does it feel like I am going backwards instead of forward?”
There it is.
I have not been devoting myself the way I should to the public reading of Scripture, exhortation, or teaching. It is that simple. I have neglected the gifting that was granted to me. I haven’t practiced them. I haven’t immersed myself in them. And because of that no one, including myself, has seen progress.
Don’t get me wrong…during this time I have definitely improved in other areas of ministry and in my ability to lead people. I am still not anywhere near where I want to be, but this is the truth.
But now that I see the issue, I have no choice but to address it. I was the most in energized and in love with my ministry when I devoted myself to this. From this overflow I learned how to pour into myself and other people. It gave me a hunger for the Scriptures and I could never have enough of it.
So I’m bringing it back. I am making it my mission to readjust my schedule to work on my read, teaching, preaching and exhortation again. I am going to study. I am already doing some of that by writing these blogs, but I think I want to be more intentional with how I write them. Maybe it’s more time, more editing, more practice, more reading out loud, more studying, etc. I am anticipating that starting my YouTube channel would do the same for me. I am going to enjoy this.
It just needs to be done and now I have rediscovered the excitement for my call to ministry. I cannot wait to see what the benefits of this will be. I hope that it blesses not just you, but those that I try to pour into on a weekly basis.
I cannot wait to get to this and to be re-energized by the initial gift God has given me that has been confirmed through the elders.
Jadner Lugo's Blog 