Combating Comparison

As a naturally competitive person, I always compare myself to the people I see. Whether they’re a peer, a subordinate or someone I look up to, I always look to see how I stack up against them.

Now, I am pretty realistic. I am no Carey Neiuwhof. I am not Craig Groeschel, Andy Stanley, or John Maxwell. But when it comes to people in similar seats in an organization or that are around my same age, I am ruthless.

I am by far the hardest on myself. That can be a good thing and a bad thing. I am very driven because of it, but I am also deeply insecure because of it. Imagine constantly telling yourself that no one wants to listen and no one cares. Welcome to my brain every minute of every day.

Today, I battled comparing myself with my coworkers. That includes my peers and an my reports. We started doing these Facebook Live morning devotionals and of course my morning devotional video received over 900 views. Pretty cool. I should be proud of it, but I’m not. I’m battling deep insecurity.

Why?

Because everyone on the days before me and after me received 1.2K or 2K views.

So here come the voices.

Not good enough.

No one wants to hear from you.

So let’s work through how to fight comparison as I fight it in real time.

1. Be self-aware

The first step is always recognizing that there is a problem. We know that this isn’t how we are supposed to view ourselves. Comparison is an outsider. It is an enemy that works to stop you from being who you really are and becoming who you are supposed to be. Call it out. Call it what it is. Comparison is an intruder.

2. Go to someone you trust

I can’t lie. I’m pretty lucky. My wife is amazing and she will shoot straight with me. She hears me out. She validates the difficulty of comparison but she doesn’t validate the comparison itself. She doesn’t dismiss my feelings, but instead she tries to understand them.

Find a person you can go to when comparison sneaks in. Let them speak truth into you. Do everything you can to avoid fighting them because remember: they are not the enemy. Comparison is the enemy.

3. Fight comparison with gratitude

This is the hardest one. Do you know how many people have videos on Facebook that have been viewed by over 900 people? Not many. It’s pretty cool when I think about it. 900 people cared enough to hear what I had to say. The leadership in our organization trusted me enough to give me the platform for people to listen to what I had to say.

But you know what? Next time, when given the opportunity, what I share will be riveting. This is where my competitive nature comes into play. I compete with myself.

This is far from easy. What it takes is dismissing the accomplishments of other people. Instead, it is a focus on what you have been given. Focus on the little you have accomplished because no matter what, they are still accomplishments.

I hope you found this helpful. We all need this reminder sometimes. Keep working. Keeping fighting to move forward. God has a plan and your destiny is waiting for you!